Wednesday, April 02, 2008


I watched this guy the other night, working his way through a tv programme about penis size, penis envy and fear of what’s normal. He himself had come to terms with his 3 ½ inch member and even had a plaster cast made of the little beast. Apparently, he’s a comedian, so is dealing with his problem in public and trying to force other men out of the woodwork; there are thousands of them willing to chat, complain and moan about it online, incognito.

No-one would talk to him, well women did when asked what they thought about the question of size; there were mixed answers but most of them imagined a minimum of five inches. The men he tried to involve in conversation about their prize possessions were astounded and too embarrassed to seriously take part. But by the end of the programme he had over a hundred men send him photos they’d taken of their ‘chaps’ with their mobile phones, which were then mounted on a white-walled space and shown to the public.

Can you imagine this room, wall-to-wall penises; all shapes and colours, close-up and very personal? He had to coerce the first group into the room; they’d been huddling in the foyer with drinks, scared of being in the same room as a multitude of naked dicks/cocks/chaps/members, whatever you want to call them – they didn’t want to face it or each other. But, by the end of the showing he had persuaded quite a number of these visitors to enter a little curtained booth and take Polaroid snaps of their BITS which were also pinned up alongside the main exhibits.

All the way through this, every time the interviewer mentioned his little package, I was remembering two brothers that Carrie and I had in the 80s; when we compared notes the next day we were astounded to realise that in their case it ran in the family. In those days I measured dicks by doing one potato, two potato; a female fist might only be about 2 ½ inches high – these brothers only reached half a fist! I have to say that in a case like this SIZE DOES MATTER.

I think the end result of this programme was very arty; what a stunning thing is a room full of penises...they were so cute!


Marla D said...

Can't believe I missed it! Still, I don't really feel like I have now..thanks Irene :)
You've evoked thoughts of when I was travelling in the friend & I stumbled into a nightclub in Sharm one night and this egyptian guy asked me to dance..
He kept pressing up against me and I asked him if he could move his keys as they were digging into my hip..he ran off!
As we were leaving, one of his friends approached and told me I'd ruined his mate's life..the penny dropped and I dug myself a bigger hole by trying to explain that I'd never come across one that small before..gawd..we didn't go there again x

ireneintheworld said...

apparently that used to be the norm according to a greek historian on the programme; all those greek statues with little penises portray the average size at that time! x

OSLO said...

I'm afraid the thought of all those photos on a wall made me grimace but as usual Irene you've made me laugh!

ireneintheworld said...

stunning stuff, and in my defense, i haven't seen a penis in such a long time! x

writer girl said...

I love your dead pan humour! WG

ireneintheworld said...

hi writer girl. it's great to be back in the world of the blog. i liked your letter to obama. oh i do want him to win. x